Welcome to Subiki SaaS
The sauce is serious business. The website is silly business. And no, you can’t buy the sauce (sorry). I am happy you found this site and hopefully enjoyed the sauce. It’s a hobby. Like the little old lady that knits hats and gives them away, I have too many sauces but want to keep making more.
Home Grown Goodness
All of the peppers and ingredients are grown organically and locally in Seattle at Low & Slow Abode. Except salt, we don’t mine our own salt.
Blazing Hot
Some serious heat. We applied our own (not) patented heat scale from 0-11 Fucks. It is measured by the number of Fucks yelled after first sample.
Small Batch
Every weekend we produce an average of 10 bottles of sauce with a unique recipe. Each run is never repeated so every bottle is different.
Discover a new way to eat
Get that heart pounding immediately
01
Hot Up Front
Some sauces will hit you like a baseball straight to the face on first taste.
02
Creeping Heat
Some sauces don’t immediately burn and will slowly build up on you. Just dangerous enough for you to continue eating before getting burned.
03
Morning After
Some sauces continue for several days. Your mileage may vary.
Testimonials
See what people have to say about us
Daryl Robertson
Pool Player
Face Melting!
I was warned about the 8/11 Fucks sauce and didn’t listen. Now I know to read the labels. 100% will try again.
Jacob Jones
Bartender
Like Fighting Mike Tyson
We danced around for bit, and then he hit me.
Ralph Edwards
Lyft Driver
Wash Your Hands
Trust me, wash your hands after eating. Twice.
Leslie Alexander
Lottery Winner
I Can See the Future!
No, literally. I had some of the Subiki SaaS and for about twenty minutes I saw the rest of my life flash before my eyes.
Brought to you by the creators of
Don’t Touch Your Pickle
I’m Saucy and I Know It
My Chemical Warfare
Too Saucy for My Shirt
My Earwax Melted
Everything you need to create amazing food
There’s always a new recipe and endless things to put it on. Even spicy icecream is an adventure? Don’t believe me? Try it yourself.
Frequently Asked Questions
Why did you create your own heat scale?
Scoville is nice, but boring. And I don’t want to test and measure every single weekend. We invented Fucks of Eleven (FoE) because it will allow flexibility, and it’s hilarious.
What are some methods you use to make sauce?
Every single batch is 100% unique and JFL Approved. If it sucks, I pour it out and try again. I ferment stuff, pickle stuff, cook stuff, don’t cook stuff, re-use previous brines or extracted pulp. It’s completely made it experimentation with no instructions.
How big is your garden?
Not very big, but every available space has something going. Raised beds, cloth grow bags, indoor and outdoor hydroponics, and a few greenhouses and planter boxes. I grow anywhere between 40 and 80 plants each season.
Why would you do this to yourself?
It’s fun, and you can never judge a person’s aptitude for heat until they try and swing for the fences.